Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Dear Diet Pepsi

Dear Diet Pepsi,

I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I think I love you. Who knew? For years I have had an on going love affair with Mt. Dew, oh I know, could I have possibly picked a worse love? Who else was more guaranteed to rot my teeth out of my head, while my dentist made repeated trips to the bank to cash my checks? Yes, I know that Mt. Dew has more sugar in it than all the other soda pops combined (not really I know, but it's my blog and I will write what I want to)! But I craved the Dew. I was, dare I say it, obsessed with the neon green goodness. I would take it over ice, from a warm can, straight from a 2 liter, if I could have found a way to pump it straight into my vein I would have.

But then one day I came out of my caffeine induced stupor and realized while I loved the Dew it didn't love me back, rotting teeth, extra pounds, and a non-stop craving. It was time to kick the habit! So I took up with Diet Dew it didn't take me long to realize that he was bad for me too. And oh, the after taste. If I wanted to drink cough syrup I would at least make sure it had some codeine in it. So I went over a few spots on the fountain pop station to The Real Thing. Diet Coke, hmmmm, is it still the real thing if it's diet? I tried and tried to make it work with him I really did, I mean you can get him large for a buck at McD's. But it just wasn't right even though he was cheap and easy I just didn't feel the connection. Most of the time I just left him full and sweating on the table. Who wants that in their relationship? So I had to move on, I tried to be gentle about it and still give him a call if I happen to be at Mickey D's.

And then I stumbled upon you, my new main squeeze, Diet Pepsi, most of the flavor and none of the calories, I imagine you are still rotting my teeth but I say the trade off is fair. You are the perfect combination in my eyes of caffeine and drinkability. In my favorite form, from a fountain machine over ice, with a straw....pure bliss I tell you, pure bliss.

Thank you Diet Pepsi for waiting for me while I fooled around with others while you watched. I'm sure it was hard but I'm here now and I have a feeling we will be together for quite awhile.

Love,

Jillienne


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