Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Venti Eggnog Latte

This is how it happened. I procrastinated, I waited too long, I put it off, I cut it too close to the wire. However you want to say it, that's what happened and that's what put me in the grocery store this morning at 9:30 a.m. the day before Thanksgiving, with both of my one year olds. Yes people Emersyn is still one. 23 months and 3 days is STILL a one year old last time I checked! Bah!

I was lulled into a false sense of security do to the fact that I had Brenna and Griffen here to load them into the car. I was blissfully blocking the fact that I had to drop Brenna and Griff off at school BEFORE hitting the grocery store. I was even tricked by the fact that once I arrived at said grocery store, amid the never ending,

mommymommymommymoiveon? mommmmmmmyyyyyyon! mommymommymommymovieon?,

that there was a parking space right by the door! Yes! What glorious luck, thank you, thank you! And then I started to get them out of our bus, I mean car, hmmmmm...... can't carry both babies in by myself. Ok, lock them in the car, run to the cart corral, grab cart, GO!

Awesome, carts are all wet from our never ending drizzle. Here is the point that I look around like maybe magically some paper towel will appear. Nope, mentally kick myself for talking Brian into cleaning out the kidmobile for me. Finally, use the sleeve of my sweater to wipe the cart down.

Grab Max out of his carseat. Place Max in the car with the belt around him. Reach back in to grab Emersyn, go to place her in the front of the cart, ooops, Max is already twisted backwards and trying to stand up. Throw, I mean gently deposit Emersyn into cart. Twist Max back around and taking a deep breath walk into the store.

Ok, in the store, doing good, stop to get some sweet potatoes. Stop looking at sweet potatoes and turn Max back around, doesn't this stupid belt tighten? Oh sorry lady didn't realize my cart was blocking the whole walk way. Move cart, turn Max around.

Grab my potatoes, grab some pies, the lady in the bakery hands me cookies for the "Cutest little kids, and oh my look at her hair!" Give Emersyn her cookie, give Max his cookie. Emersyn takes a bite, Max throws his on the floor. Perfect.

Moving on, continue you grabbing items on my list, continue turning Max back around, listen to Emmy say "cookiecookiemommymommy" over and over and over and over.

Finally get to the checkout. Turn Max back around, unload cart, agree with the cashier that Emersyn does in fact have just the most adorable hair. Turn Max back around. Ask cashier for suckers so that maybe Max will just stay SEATED!!

Tell the man who is bagging my groceries that I can take them to the car myself as I am going to stop at the Starbucks in the store first. He politely tells me that I have my hands full and he will just wait with me. GREAT!

Pay the cashier, hand Emersyn her sucker, turn Max around, hand Max his sucker, cashier hands me change, Emersyn hands me her cookie and sucker wrapper, I grab my purse, the cart and what's left of my sanity.

Walk down to Starbucks with the Helpful Bagger Man trailing behind me with my groceries. Walk in the wrong way for the Starbucks line, yes she's cute, yes her hair is adorable, yes, doesn't he have the biggest eyes, pick Max's sucker up off the floor, give Max his sucker back (sue me). Hand one of the workers Emersyn's cookie and wrapper for the garbage. And order a VENTI EGGNOG LATTE!

I am going to stop here and not even get into the drama of the parking lot, not even the part where Helpful Bagger Man takes Emersyn out of the cart while I am trying to get Max in the car and sets her down in the parking lot. Not the part where I almost spill my flipping latte, and definitely not the part where I told Helpful Bagger Man that my babies are from Ethiopia and he said it looks like I was doing a good job fattening them up. Nope not going all the way there.

What the hell was I thinking ordering a VENTI EGGNOG LATTE! Do you know how my flipping calories are in that things? Not to mention the sugar and the carbs. I don't think I can eat for the rest of the week. Sigh, I got stressed and ordered the most awful thing possible I think.

Serious, f***ing 610 calories, 27 grams of fat, 69 carbs, and 64 sugars. I know because I came home and checked, you know you really can find ANYTHING on the internet nowadays.

So what do I do? Pour it down the drain? Nope I'm flipping drinking it. I Suck.

Moral to the story: Procrastination is bad!


  1. I can definitely relate to stress eating.

  2. I had a similar experience at the store the other week, but I set my five dollar latte on the hood of my mini van and got to watch it fall and splatter on the ground. I literally would have cried, but was trying to teach the kids the lesson of not crying over a spilled five dollar coffee drink. I was pissed. Just think next time you will make a different choice. Good luck.
    ~ Heather

  3. Oh Jillienne

    I swear to god, I love you and I'm laughing so hard right now. As a mommy of two 22-month olds, you are singing my song sister. I KNOW the babies-in-the-grocery-store shuffle. And I get the bribing them with a cookie for most the ride in the stupid shopping cart (that holds one)while discovering the one in the cart is eating her way through the produce. I also reward my stress with latte's ...big ones...with raw sugar sprinkled on top, please.

    Go gentle with yourself lady. Its the holiday season. Losing weight DURING this stressful time is (for me) impossible.

    (Oh. I have managed to shed 35lbs with Weight Watchers. Dunno. They worked for me. But I am HOLDING steady through these food filled weeks of holidays. Eeeeh gatz). Just thought I'd throw that out there!

    Either way, thanks for the smile!
    Happy Thanksgiving to you. :0)