Saturday, December 4, 2010

Dear McDonalds Corp.

Dear McDonald's Corporation,

First let me start by saying, I LOVE your fries! Yummy, crispy, heart clogging goodness. But, isn't there always a but, it think maybe you should put a little bit more effort into your employee selection. Yes, I understand that each individual Mc Donalds is owned separately. But at the end of the day. It's your name out there. Maybe your name doesn't stand for quality but your MENSA candidates are ruining even your fries image.

Now I know that we have "an above average" size family. So I fully expect that when I go through the drive thru I will have to "pull ahead and wait" for my 100 piece chicken Mc Nuggets. I don't even mind when you ask me every time if I would like a drink carrier for my 8 drinks. No thanks, I will just balance them on my dashboard as I drive home. And it only sort of gets to me when I have to PROVE to the 58 year old lady in her manager shirt that I didn't get my dipping sauce. I mean is your company really losing enough money that I have to get the stink eye when I ask for another ranch cup. I will gladly pay the $0.15, just give me a second to dig under the floor mats.

I feel like I should explain a bit. Mc Donalds is our only option, well there is that KFC but I draw the line at tearing my chicken off of the bone with my teeth. Oh unless it's Buffalo Wild Wings, but that's the exception not the rule. So unless I want to cook dinner every night (which I don't) or go all caveman on a chicken leg, I am stuck with good old Mc Donald's.

Here is where I get slightly cranky. When I am happily sitting in the drive-thru line waiting for my, large Mocha, whole milk please. I don't enjoy waiting 10 mins. for the ugly white Tahoe (w/ gold trim, good idea, I think not), to get their order, I mean you can only play so many games of solitaire on your phone before you realize that, hello, we aren't moving. When I look up I see, not 1 not 2 but 6 coffees being handed out 1 by 1 by 1. Followed by 2 fountain pops and then wait for it, yet another coffee. Bringing the grand total up to 9.

Here is what I know about this, the ugly ass Tahoe will be stopping every 5 minutes for a potty break! Finally it's my turn at the window, I have paid, I have waited and I want my Mocha. The rocket scientist opens the window and says "I'm sorry, your Mocha's not done, could you pull up please." Really, really? How hard it it? I mean you just passed out 7 flipping hot drinks to the pimp my ride ahead of me, you couldn't have squeezed me in?

Let me end this by saying that I don't get out of the house very often by myself so when I do, all I want is my Mocha, and I want it when I get to the window. Is it possible to maybe put a section in your application or maybe as an interview question to keep this from happening? It could even be multiple choice. Something along the lines of, If someone comes through the drive-thru and only orders one beverage do you:
a. give them their beverage
b. give them their beverage
c. make the choice to ask them to pull ahead
d. give them their beverage and throw in a ranch cup for good measure

I think this will help weed out the inferior and just plain worthless.

Just trying to help,



  1. Oh. My. Lawd. I think you're my new best bloggy friend (not too creepy, right??)

    1.) I too love McDonald's french fries. I don't care what's in 'em!
    2.) Your sass is hilarious.
    3.) YOu might have the only adoption blog out there that uses PG-13 swear words. And it's kind of refreshing.