I believe in goals and resolutions. I think that they are a great way to help keep you accountable and on track for what you want. Unfortunately, I tend to set too many goals (resolutions) that make them hard to attain.
I say things like this is the year that I am never going to yell, go to the gym 6 days a week, plan perfect balanced meals and have all my homeschool plans made 6 weeks in advance. Plus, I am going to organize the whole house in the next 6 months and save a million dollars, plus take a trip to volunteer in Ethiopia. Ummmmm.....not so much. Usually by the next week I can be found yelling on the couch, eating bon-bons and buying things on Amazon!
This year I have exactly one resoultion! To make myself and my marriage a priority!
What! You say, how can you be so selfish? What about world peace and helping others and those 6 beautiful children you are raising? I am glad you asked. Of course I still care about these things. Of course our children will be well loved and adored. If by loved and adored you mean driving them back and forth to their millions of activities with minimal amounts of complaining.
I am not looking to dump off my responsibilities, just tweak them a bit. You know the big things, like, why does my teenage daughter have 10 pairs of jeans while I only have 2 (ok, 1) that fits. Why can't I remember the last time I said something nice to my husband or even the last time we went out on a date? It becomes all are you going to take out the garbage today or seriously how hard is it to pick your underwear off the floor? Or, just today I am going to run out in my pajamas....... until you can't remember the last time you got dressed unless you are going to see people you know.
Seriously things get so hectic and we get so stuck in the everyday, that the little things can get left behind. Kids and responsibilities are a lot like puppies, they will NOT let you forget them, they will jump up and lick you in the face, whine to be fed, ruin your favorite shoes, hell they might even wet on your floor to get your attention. They can also be soooo cute and cuddly that you don't want to put them down. Don't worry you won't forget them. I promise!
On the flip side it becomes very easy to forget yourself and your spouse. I am not sure why that is. Why does it seem important that the 4 year old have a new dress to go to the family Christmas but you wear the same sweater for three years straight? And, I would never let my kid out of the house without having showered for the past 3 days but .......ok, nevermind on that one.
When was the last time your man came down the stairs and you told him how good he looked? But you will bend over backwards to try and say and do the right things to help your children build their self esteem. Quick note: Men and Children need the same amount of build-up, I think there is a study on it somewhere!
As a mother I think that we find a certain amount of comfort in the "giving up". We feel we must be doing it right if, we are sooo busy making sure our kids are happy or (insert your volunteering of choice) thinks we are amazing, that we can barely sleep at night for all the things we have to remember to do the next day. It's almost a badge of honor to realize you have been so busy you haven't changed your underwear in a week. Just keepin' it real.
So for 2012, I say I pick ME! I pick that man I loved enough to marry, I pick making the effort to spend time and effort on myself. Get my hair did, find a hobby that interests me, make the time to shower. Go on dates with the husband, do something nice for him just because I can (wait until you hear the Hunger Games story), remember he needs to hear nice things too. Oh and communication! Remember I can't read his mind and he can't read mine. Shocking.
Make time for the Adults in the house!!!
I have a sneaking suspicion that if we can make these changes we will be happier and a little more stress free. Which will in turn make us better parents, partners, people.
I know because all the blogs and self-help books tell me so.
That is my resolution for 2012.
'til next time
me
