Only

Recently I was talking to a friend, this friend is career driven kinda girl. In fact we met through her job. She was telling me that she is planning to go back to school this winter and that she is totally switching fields. I gave her the required, "WOW how come"? And she said that she just didn't love what she was doing anymore. My first thought was that's nice to know what you love, I am still waiting to figure out what I am going to be when I grow up! But then she said "I am starting to feel like I am ONLY _________'s wife and _______'s mom." That got me to thinking.

Is that what I am, ONLY my husbands wife and my kids mom? Is that a bad thing? How many people look at me different, like I am less than because I don't have a career or even a job? Am I supposed to feel that way myself? And can you write a whole paragraph of just questions? Seriously though, am I only an ONLY?

Why is it that we are supposed to judge ourselves based on how much money we make, how many hours we work away from our home, and what we for a living? Ok, I am going to say it, ready? I LIKE being a stay at home mom, a housewife, a homemaker. I like the relative freedom that it gives me and I like to be there with my kids when they need me or when they don't, whichever. Does that mean that I enjoy the cleaning and being a taxi or never being able to take a day off. No, not always but all and all this IS the life for me. So when people make comments about never having my own life if I keep adding kids or can't you wait until all your kids go to school you can get a job? I try to say nope, even when they are ALL in school I still don't see myself working, but then I get that look, you know the one, like I have two heads and just farted.

One more time for all you in the back row, I don't feel like I am of more value by working a REAL job. I am who I am and it's taken me a few years but I am starting to like that person and kind of understand her. She does not need to work outside the home to feel complete. Being a size 4 might do it though!

And before everyone up in the balcony starts throwing tomatoes at me, let me just say, that I believe that flip side is true also, some women want to work they like to work, it just works for them, it's their thing. And some women need to work to help make ends meet. I am all for that too! I am all for whatever makes you happy. Really I applaud you for being able to do it all. It makes me tired just thinking about it.

I am not of the opinion that my way is the right way, it's just the way that works for me, it's what I am good at. It's what I LOVE.

But I am not an ONLY! I am Jillienne, a wife, a mother, a friend, a taxi driver, a short order cook, a nurse, and happy more days than I am not. I think I'll take it.

'til next time

me